Seven Mindsets That Kill Success

January 28, 2018

“Martin Luther King famously proclaimed ‘I have a dream,’ not ‘I have an issue.’ “ – Van Jones

You’ve probably heard the saying “You are what you think.” In coaching, I pay attention to the way people think about things; their mindset. The challenge with mindset is that it’s driven by thoughts and sometimes our beliefs are true and other times they are imaginary stories we tell ourselves. But how do we know if our mindset is getting in the way of our success? When I meet a client who’s feeling stuck, overwhelmed, unsuccessful or just fed up with life, the mindsets below are ruling their existence. Do any of these ring true for you? Consider alternate ways to free yourself from these faulty ways of thinking.

  1. Futurecasting

You see a future where nothing w

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Posted in Mindset by Mari Pizarro | Tags: ,
January 3, 2018

I dislike failure – even when there is a lesson with it – therefore it stands to reason I dislike New Year’s resolutions. There is a belief that the New Year is the perfect time to pursue new goals and dreams. This belief is so strong people make the same resolutions every year and truthfully believe “This year will be different!” Researcher John Norcross found that about 50% of the population makes resolutions every single year and out of that group, 92% fail! So, why such a high rate of failure? Are we just weak and lazy? Resolutions are considered “cultural procrastination” according to Timothy Pychyl, a psychology professor at Carleton University. But the problem is that people use resolutions to change habits they are neither ready nor committed to address, therefore they fail. Looking back, whenever I found myself sliding just two weeks into the new year (think losing weight, start lifting heavy, stop drinking completely, stick to my budget, start a budget, etc.) I realize that my resolutions were unrealistic and out of alignment with who I wanted to be as a person.

Posted in Mindset by Mari Pizarro | Tags: , ,
December 7, 2017

We’ve all had them at one time or another: The Bad Boss. It’s not that they’re bad people, it’s that their style of doing things doesn’t click with you and the gulf between your philosophies can quickly become an abyss if you don’t learn how to pro-actively handle your disagreements. You’ve worked hard to get where you are and probably look at your boss and think that they may not deserve to be where they are. That’s OK, but you need to tell yourself to let go of any resentment or your performance could suffer. Whether you’re correct or not about your boss’s ability doesn’t matter. You have to work with the person – and take direction from them – every day. If you are a high performer you don’t want to sit idly by and watch things go in the wrong direction, but approaching your boss when there are differences can be an art form unto itself.

Pre-Confrontation

Put Yourself in Their Shoes – You’re not the only one who has to take direction. Is the direction, policy or initiative they are implementing or enforcing their idea or are they being forced to follow someone else’s lead? Is there somebody above their head pulling strings and you

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Posted in Healthy Tricks, Mindset by Mari Pizarro | Tags: ,
November 7, 2017

Are you the indispensable, go-to employee? Are you the one who gets all the odd projects and requests for help? Or maybe you run your own business and feel unless you are on top of things 24/7 that things will get out of your control. Do you have an innate feeling the company can’t operate without your vigilance? When does the indispensable label become too much? Is it best to always be the go-to? Will micromanaging really lead to success? In most instances, the answer to these questions is No. The one thing it will lead to is burnout. Who’s ultimately responsible for employee and owner burnout? YOU! As the indispensable one, you must learn to identify the telltale signs of having too much on your plate before burnout comes knocking on your door.

Red Flags

Here are the most common red flags when you have been assigned too many projects or voluntarily taken on more than what you can handle: You just can’t say NO – If the boss of your boss asks, whatever they asked for must be done, right? If it’s your name on the business, it all falls to you, right?

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October 20, 2017

“Don’t make me angry, Mr. McGhee. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.” – Dr. David Banner, opening credits of The Incredible Hulk It’s pretty hard to inspire others if you are walking around with a belly full of anger. Experiencing unjust treatment, hearing criticism, or just not getting what you want when you want it triggers sensations that feel like anger.  Psychologists even recognize boredom as a mild version of anger represented as dissatisfaction with what is happening at a given moment. Anger can be healthy at times but resorting to anger to deal with everyday situation is not the smartest answer. Anger is reactive and often shows up when we have not learned how to understand and deal with our emotions. Anger is not an involuntary emotion although it can feel that way sometimes, but you can regulate it. Instead of getting into uncomfortable situations, making others feel humiliated or angry right back at you, or getting to the point you say something you end up regretting, we can identify what triggers the angry response and figure out how to deal with it. Easier said than done. I know.

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Posted in Healthy Tricks, Mindset by Mari Pizarro | Tags: ,
October 12, 2017

In 2012, two researchers from The University of Colorado, Bradley Owens and David Heckman, published the results of their studying looking at how humility influences leadership and why the most humble leaders are often the most respected. The two wondered if humility is a contagious trait and if those who followed a humble leader would begin to mirror that humility. The duo also wanted to find out if a team’s humility had any effect on their potential and ability to deliver results? Basically, these researchers wanted to find out if there is an upside to humility, from leadership on down. Their results? Humility is, without a doubt, contagious and spreads through a team easily. But unlike a virus, humility produces a measurable increase in a team’s effectiveness. While I’ve haven’t seen a study of arrogance, I bet it would prove the exact opposite. There are three interpersonal traits that embody humility:

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Posted in Blog, Mindset by Mari Pizarro
September 19, 2017

Have you ever had one of those situations where you and somebody else experienced the same thing, maybe a concert or dinner, but walked away with not only completely different opinions about how they were, but with a conflicting set of “facts”? How can two people’s perception of things be so different? And, what if you’re the one who is taking in things and processing them in a skewed manner? Our emotional state is often a result of how we perceive situations happening around us. Have you ever asked yourself these questions and reached these conclusions after you faced a negative situation? Why did she do that to me? I don’t deserve that. Why does this keep happening to me? It’s not fair. Why is it so hard to be understood? Nobody understands me. Why are all the good men taken? I’m going to die alone. Often, we ask ourselves these questions to ease our way into victim mode. We assess the situation with emotional blinders and see ourselves as stuck in one place or helpless because of who we perceive ourselves to be in the moment. Maybe you think you’re too nice, too young or

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September 14, 2017

Complaining is like gossip – a certain amount of it is inevitable, but when it becomes a hobby, it turns into a destructive force that negatively affects your mood, your health, and that of everyone around you. “Research shows that exposure to 30 minutes or more of negativity…actually peels away neurons in the brain’s hippocampus. That’s the part of your brain you need for problem solving.”* So, as the saying goes, “If you can’t or won’t make it right, stop complaining about it.”

Do you identify with one of these complainers?

Frustrated Carlos: Chat with Carlos, and you get a dose of Monday morning news about everything that’s wrong with the world, government, media, society, his spouse, his neighbor, traffic, the weather, his bonus, etc. He’s always disgusted and can’t wait to unload all of life’s tribulations on you. You’ve probably come to dread the depressing, unconstructive environment he creates by dwelling on the flaws of others. Superior Joanna: While she stands at the supermarket checkout line, she mumbles to other customers about the slowness and incompetence of the cashier. She feels a sense of superiority. A victim of her circumstances, there’s nothing she can do unless she reports the situation to the store manager (which she probably won’t). So she complains. Does that help her or those

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Posted in Blog, Mindset by Mari Pizarro | Tags: ,